BY JEFF CORBETT

There used to be four stages of life, but  New York Times columnist David Brooks writes the progression of life now has six stages.

The four stages were Childhood, Adolescence, Adulthood, and Old Age. So what changed?

An amazing time of self-exploration in the decade of your 20s, known as “Odyssey,” now follows Adolescence. Then it’s Adulthood, followed by “Active Retirement,” a new period of living before Old Age sets in.

We live in stages, in a progression of chapters.

Living in Chapters

Think back to the defining or significant moments that changed your life.

Such things as getting married, changing jobs, a new house, an illness, an empty nest, a layoff, a new baby, a major loss.

There are other transitions as well– personal, internal ones in what you believe and who you are.

A dilemma often occurs when it is time for you to evolve, to start a fresh chapter, to make a change, to do something new, to let go of a lifestyle or behavior that has run its course.

Deep inside you know when you are at this point, but you are terrified to act on it.

It could be terminating a relationship that needs to end. It could be your job has become meaningless, or what you do each day has lost its purpose.

You’re stuck in limbo, one foot in the old, one foot in the new, and your emotions are a medley of frustration, self-anger, and confusion.

What do you do?

It Starts in Your Head

Your emotion and reason fight an ongoing tug-of-war, and when you get them on the same page, clarity comes to call, anxiety falls away, and a sense of personal peace sets in.

The first step is to change your mindset about change, to realize and accept that change is “the  process by which the future invades our lives,” said Alvin Toffler, author of Future Shock.

To live well is to continuously grow and improve. You must occasionally do a reassessment of who you are, where you’re going, and what you truly want.

Here’s where you become stronger. Many truths become clear, you realize that you cannot spend your life pleasing everybody. You must be true to yourself.

You may have to disappoint someone as you remodel yourself, but such is the nature of change. Those who cling to the past and fight change become obsolete and left behind.

A Perfect Example

Listen to humorist Erma Bombeck, who illustrates how life must go on, changes and all:

  Children are like kites. You spend years trying to get them off the ground.
  You run with them until you are both breathless. They crash … they hit the roof … you patch, comfort and assure them that someday they will fly.
  Finally, they are airborne. They need more string, and you keep letting it out.
  They tug, and with each twist of the twine, there is sadness that goes with joy.
  The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won’t be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you together and will soar as meant to soar … free and alone.
   Only then do you know that you have done your job.

Life is truly lived in moments, in chapters, in stages. Savor every one of them, and when it’s time for you to turn the page, be strong, and take comfort in the words of Lao Tsu: “What a caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly.”

Jeff Corbett is an experienced public speaker, meeting facilitator and sales/marketing professional. He lives in Statesville.