BY JEFF CORBETT
Are you afraid of failing?
According to Dr. Gary Winch in “Psychology Today,” “everyone hates to fail, but for some people, failing presents such a significant psychological threat that their motivation to avoid failure exceeds their motivation to succeed.”
Many of us cling to jobs we hate or relationships long dead because we fear the risks of making a move, telling ourselves we will fail, so we freeze, settle, and live life in what Dr. Seuss called “The Waiting Place.”
Fear of failure sentences you to a life of mediocrity, keeping you from the incredible opportunities waiting for you.
So let’s define failure for what it really is.
Failure is a Part of Success
You’ve heard stories of great people who failed on their way to their greatness. President John F. Kennedy told us, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
In both your business and your life, if you are truly successful, you can credit a number of mistakes and failures because they made you sharper, wiser, and better prepared.
Basketball great Michael Jordan had this to say about his own experiences:
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
A failure, as writer Elbert Hubbard defined it, is someone who has blundered but is unable to cash in on the experience.
Failure Teaches You to Bounce Back
Novelist Paulo Coehlo said it best: “The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”
Florence Chadwick became the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions. Early on July 4, 1952, she slipped into the ice-cold Pacific in her attempt to become the first woman to swim from Catalina Island to the California coast, a distance of 22 miles.
With fog as thick as soup, she could barely see the support boat beside her, carrying her trainer and mother. Hour after hour she swam, the sharks in her vicinity being kept at bay with rifle shots.
Fifteen hours and 55 minutes later, bone-tired, freezing, and still shrouded by fog, Chadwick begged to be pulled out of the water.
“It’s not much farther at all,” yelled her trainer.
Yet Chadwick insisted on quitting.
Can you imagine how she felt when she learned she was only a half mile from the California coast when she abandoned the effort?
Two months later, she tried again in identical, harsh conditions. This time, she not only made it, she also beat the men’s world record by two hours! Her previous failure had become her motivation.
Failure Requires Owning Up
This is the hardest part. When you fail, forget, screw up, or drop the ball, say so. Take ownership and responsibility for the error, and you will be blown away by how respect for you will increase.
Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch once made a very bad decision by advocating for a $3 million route of bike paths in Manhattan that failed miserably.
He was taking big-time heat for it. He was slated to appear on a popular Sunday morning news show in the city, where reporters planned to humiliate him for the debacle.
But Koch had class. Five minutes into the 30-minute program, Koch said this: “I take full responsibility for this failure. I screwed up, made a very bad decision, and greatly regret it. It is totally my fault, as I believed it would work, and I was wrong.”
When the reporters kept firing accusations and tirades about the bike path, he replied, “Look, I told you, I made a very bad decision. There’s really nothing more to say than I am very sorry.”
After several more feeble attempts to attack Koch, which received the same reply, and with 20 minutes left to go, there was nothing left to discuss about the bike path. The rest of the show was small talk, and Koch left as the winner.
Your Next Step
So what will it be? Will your fear hold you back, or will you view a failure as a step toward success?
Reframe how you think. Take risks. Run into the roar. Do something new and different. Amazing opportunities await.
It’s all up to you!
Jeff Corbett is an experienced public speaker, meeting facilitator and sales/marketing professional. He lives in Statesville.