BY DEBBIE PAGE

Stylish and dapper young men hosted their guests and class donors to the first “Bobcats Become Gentlemen” dinner on Tuesday night at the Career Academy and Technical School, enjoying a meal prepared by Chef Nat Turner’s culinary students.

Troutman Middle School CTE teacher Kensley Dalton and Student Resource Officer Wayne Elmore, who teach the class and mentor the young men, welcomed students and their guests to the event.

The professionally dressed young men greeted guests at the entrance and escorted ladies to their tables, pulling out their chairs and helping them into their seats.

Before the meal, Dalton explained students were initially chosen for the first class in 2019-2020, a course cut short when in-person learning was suspended because of the pandemic. When the class resumed in spring 2022, the instructors decided to open it up to other students as well. The first full year of influencing young men to meet high expectations of behavior and academics is nearing an end.

Students learn basics such as shaking hands properly, professional greetings, the importance of eye contact, and other social skills. They also master practical skills like tying ties in several ways, dressing to impress, and job interviewing skills.

The instructors also emphasize respect — for girlfriends and other females, each other, and teachers and other adults they contact each day.

Dalton said the class is a safe space. He noted middle school students, especially boys, are uncomfortable talking about some things with parents. In this class, they get feedback from their peers in discussions guided by Elmore and Dalton to help point them in the best directions.

Dalton also noted that the talk sometimes gets “brutally honest.” The class recently discussed the shooting death of one and severe injury of another young man and how decisions can define their lives.

Though teenagers will inevitably make mistakes, Dalton hopes they will think back on the skills and lessons they learned in the “gentleman” class to help them in their lives. He also expressed appreciation for the fathers and male figures attending, noting the importance of strong fathers and men to step up and be examples to the young males in their lives.

When he sees the young men who were in the first class, Elmore is pleased to see how much they have grown and matured. “I see them demonstrate the things we taught them,” he said.

The class has also been an opportunity for Elmore, a white Troutman police officer with 14 years experience, to build a connection with the mostly black males in the class during a time of distrust between minorities and law enforcement.

“We’ve got to stop the killings among young people in our community. We try to mentor them and help them grow to make positive decisions. We have to start doing something — why can it not start with us?”

“We spend a lot of time listening and talking. I want them to see that police officers care about them and do not want to see them in trouble or in jail.”

Before the meal began, each student practiced public speaking by introducing their guests. Afterwards, several students spoke about the influence the class has had on their lives.

Before he joined the class, Tyrese was getting in trouble in class and fighting with other students. Now, he has learned how to treat others with respect and “how to be somebody. You never know when somebody’s watching, and that thought helps keep me out of trouble,” he said.

JaKaizen, in the class for the third time, said he learned to be a gentleman with girls and how to act when he meets a girl’s parents. He described a role play he did with Dalton to show the right and wrong way to behave in front of them.

Xavier likes the fact that students learn to be accountable for their own behavior.

Parents Mark and Katie Tighe, attending with their son Nick, were excited about this opportunity for their son. Mark noted an improvement in NIck’s manners and behavior as a result of his participation in the mentoring program.

Aaron Maddox, another parent, said the event “was a beautiful moment. I wish I had had something like this as a young man to shorten my learning curve and lessen my mistakes.”

Maddox thanked Elmore and Dalton for the gift of their time to help these young men to become better people and urged them to take their teachers’ words and wisdom seriously. “Listen more, talk less, and hear to understand,” he said.

Elmore got hooked on being an SRO after mentoring a troubled kindergarten student and having lunch with him and his classmates on Fridays. After SRO training, he joined the Troutman Middle School staff seven years ago.

Though he and Dalton are sometimes hard on the students, Elmore said, “If we didn’t love you, we wouldn’t care.”

“We love you guys unconditionally and know you will make mistakes, but as long as you learn from them, and don’t keep repeating them, we will be proud of you.”

Elmore noted the eighth-graders will soon enter high school and have to make decisions about course selections, college or other post-secondary training, and preparing for future jobs or careers.

If they do make mistakes in the future, Elmore hopes they can lift themselves out of the situation using the skills they learned in the course.

As the evening closed, Dalton expressed his pride in the young men. “Keep learning, listening, growing, and learn from your mistakes. Listen to your parents, and thank them.”