EDITOR’S NOTE: The Compassionate Friends of Mooresville will hold a Butterfly Release on Thursday, May 18, at 7 p.m. at Williamson United Methodist Church in Mooresville.

BY MIKE FUHRMAN

Joey Ritchie packed a lot of life into his 28 years.

A graduate of Statesville High School and Western Carolina University and a U.S. Army veteran, Joey was a beloved son, brother, fiancé and best friend. He was happiest when he was in the mountains, had a diverse taste in music, and was a real gearhead. He gave the best bear hugs.

“Joey had a fire and an energy about him when he entered a room,” his mom, Debbie Lindley, shared. “It was like his presence came in before he did.”

When Joey died of a drug overdose on April 18, 2015, the whole world crashed down on his family, beginning a never-ending grief journey for her, her husband Tim, and Joey’s brothers, Jimmy and Johnny.

For Debbie, that journey has included a long bout of numbness and just going through the motions of living, begrudging acceptance of the enormity of her loss and, finally, gratitude for life and all of the world’s beauty.

The initial anger and despair, she said, were crippling.

“I felt like I was drowning, treading water,” she said. “I was lost.”

She’s not sure she would have made it without the help of The Compassionate Friends of Mooresville, a support group for those who have lost children, grandchildren or siblings.

Rhonda Mienko started the Mooresville support group eight years ago after attending the South Charlotte Chapter and realizing that Mooresville needed a Compassionate Friends Chapter to serve Iredell and surrounding counties. The group meets once a month and holds special events throughout the year to remember those who have been lost.

Debbie went to her first meeting four months after Joey died. She was greeted warmly at the door by another mom who lost a child to overdose and the “heaviness” of grief began to lift.

“I learned I’m not alone,” she said. “These people get me. I’m where I need to be.”

The meetings provide a safe place for guests to process their grief, share their feelings and, perhaps most importantly, remember their loved ones. The group has helped those who have lost babies at childbirth, children to illnesses and diseases, teens and loved ones of all ages to car accidents, homicide, suicide, and overdose.

For Debbie, the meetings have provided an opportunity to talk about Joey, his affinity for punk-rock and rockabilly, and the 1979 Ford truck he painstakingly restored.

“We talk about how they lived,” she said. “We want to hear their name. … It brings them back to life momentarily.”

Joey’s family takes hikes on Stone Mountain to keep his memory alive, and they eat Mexican food on the anniversary of his death, which they call “Angel Day.” Their last family meal together was at Cozumel, the Sunday before their world was shattered.

Debbie also finds comfort in slipping on Joey’s Army work jacket. “I wear it sometimes when I need a hug,” she said.

Through her grief journey, Debbie said she has undergone a transformation. She finds joy in little things — and sees Joey in her dreams and in the shadows.

“Sometimes it’s one breath at a time,” she said. “I’ve changed spiritually. I’ve grown a lot because of my loss.

The Compassionate Friends of Mooresville meets at 7 p.m. on the third Thursday of each month at Williamson Chapel United Methodist Church, located at 575 Brawley School Road in Mooresville. For more information, call 704-313-8281 or email TCFofMooresville@gmail.com.