BY JEFF CORBETT
A 10-year-old boy was captivated by a sign in his neighborhood advertising “Puppies for sale.”
He went up to the house and rang the doorbell, and when the owner answered, the boy asked, “Mister, how much are your puppies?”
“Fifty dollars each,” the man replied.
With a look of dejection, the youth asked, “I can’t pay that, but could I see them?”
The owner whistled, and out ran three balls of fur, with a fourth struggling behind.
“What’s wrong with him?” asked the boy.
“He was born with a crippled back leg,” the man explained.
“I’ll take him!” exclaimed the boy. “Please, mister, I’ll give you four dollars now and then pay you dollar a week.”
“But this puppy will never be able to run and play like the others,” the dogs’ owner said.
With that, the boy lifted his pant leg to expose a brace up to his knee.
“I can’t either, and he’ll need someone who understands him,” he said.
With watering eyes, the owner said, “Here, young man. He is my gift to you.”
A Precious Shortage
Sadly, true understanding is a rare treat. We are a self-centered society, quick to judge those who don’t think like us, look like us, or act like us.
Our politics are deeply divided, with each side flocking to that media and those leaders who are simply reinforcing their position, rather than trying to understand why the other side thinks as they do.
Aristotle told us that it is “the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” Don’t condemn those with differing opinions, but rather broaden your mind to hear them out.
We are poor listeners. In “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey explains, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
All this adds up to a life that falls far short of richness, of diversity, of expanding your world every day.
The Arena of Understanding
To better appreciate other people and viewpoints, first try to understand a phenomena I call “The Arena of Understanding.”
It’s one of the biggest communication obstacles facing us today because we don’t realize the importance of reaching people from that person’s unique perspective.
When we have a limited Arena of Understanding, our restricted scope discourages us from respecting other ways of thought.
Your Arena of Understanding is essentially this: You understand the world from a frame of reference built by your values and beliefs, developed through your life experiences, the people you’ve met, your upbringing, and your education.
When you stop seeking new experiences, new ideas, new people, and exploring why others think as they do, you begin to die on the vine and wither with obsolescence.
The most difficult thing for you, and what will set you apart, is the ability to get out of your skin and into theirs. See also “Empathy.”
Ask questions, explore what’s going on in their mind regardless of whether or not you agree with them, and stop trying to hammer your agenda and ideas into someone who differs from you.
Persuasion and progress are best done through dialogue, respect, and understanding.
Practice Compassion
The world can be such a mean place. Will you do your part to judge less and understand more? Like the limping puppy, there are so many who want to be understood and appreciated for who they are.
The prayer of St. Francis nailed it: “O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.”
Understanding starts with you, and it can start today.
Jeff Corbett is an experienced public speaker, meeting facilitator and sales/marketing professional. He lives in Statesville.